Hacker II – The Barbarian Exhibitionist

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Play style: Random character, everything default.

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Text in green is fiction from outside of the game.
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Hacker II is a male chaotic barbarian orc.



He’s a born fighter and weak in other departments. He wields a two-handed sword, wears an orcish ring mail and carries some food and a spare axe.



Dungeon Level 1
He enters the dungeon along with his tame dog called Idefix. He thanks Set when he finds 55 gold pieces. There’s a fountain and a glittering spell book.



Dungeon Level 2
Idefix falls down into a pit. He waits for Idefix to get out of the pit. After hacking a few lesser crawlers he finds a green gem. Advances to Level 2 (23 Hp) There’s only three rooms and he can’t find any secret doors so he continues down.

Dungeon Level 3
He tries to #force open a locked chest in a dark room but breaks the axe. He kicks open the chest. Finds 115gp, a circular amulet, a couple of scrolls and two grey stones. Hacker II #rubs the stone against his sword and makes scratch marks on both. It is said that a magic stone should produce the sound: “scritch, scritch”. He then tries to rub the stones against the green gem and it makes green scratch marks on the stones. Hacker II doesn't understand a thing what's happening and return to dungeon crawling.

Later he finds a new axe. He hears the footsteps of a guard on patrol. He slays some Kobold Zombies and advances to Level 3 (30 Hp). He finds some gems, a key, a chain mail and a potion. Now he is burdened. He tries the chain mail (AC: 5). He has to drop some stuff to be able to go through a small corridor section, but finds nothing. He gets the stuff again. He falls into a pit but gets out before anything attacks him.

Dungeon Level 4
He is now getting low on food. He finds two rations. He has a tough fight with an Iguana and advances to Level 4 (36 Hp). He finds and eats a fortune cookie. The message is: “Yet Another Silly Message. (YASM)”

Dungeon Level 5
He kills a Hobbit and a Golden Naga Hatchling. Advances to Level 5 (44 Hp). He enters a room with statues.



In the middle of the room is a smaller room with a friendly character saying: “Hello Hacker II, welcome to Delphi.” A detailed look at the character reveals it to be the Oracle.



He #chats with the Oracle. She charges 50gp for a minor consultation and 750gp for a major. He pays for a minor. True to her word, the Oracle says: “They say that wielded, a long sword named Fire Brand makes you feel cooler.” He continues on and finds a splint mail (AC: 4). Idefix steps on a teleport trap and disappears. He finds a curved wand and Idefix. He notices a Gnomish Wizard with infravision. The Wizard fumbles with his spells but manages to cast a speed spell but Hacker II kills him. He finds one more circular amulet.



Dungeon Level 6
He kills a Pony and eats it whole. A Leprechaun robs him and then disappears. Later two Hillorcs and the Leprechaun ambush him.



He softens the Orcs with darts and slays them with a final slash from the two-handed sword. He hits the Leprechaun with three darts but it robs Hacker II of even more gold. There is a set of stairs leading up.

Dungeon Level 5 Sokoban



There’s some kind of boulder pushing puzzle. He is burdened with all loot. He drops a lot of stuff and finds a ring. He begins pushing boulders into the pits. One boulder is blocked by something behind it. It’s ambushing Mordor Orcs.



He kills one and advances to Level 6 (56 Hp). He kills three more. The last one zaps a wand of magic missiles. Hacker II closes in for the kill as the Orc zaps the wand again. “The magic missile whizzes by you! The magic missile bounces (on the wall)! The magic missile hits you! The magic missile hits the Mordor Orc!” Hacker II smites the Orc and kills it. He picks up the wand and notices that it’s similar to his other wand, both now identified. He finds and wears an orcish helm. It’s +1 (AC: 2). He continues to push around boulders to fill the pits. He kills a Hobbit and a Baby Crocodile. The puzzle now solved he moves up the stairs.

Dungeon Level 4 Sokoban
He finds himself in a new but similar puzzle. He pushes boulders and finds some more loot. He kills a Pony and advances to Level 7 (68 Hp). He now feels quicker (he got the intrinsic speed). A Hobgoblin is picking a fight by blocking a boulder. It dies. Two Human Zombies attack and are killed (again(IVAN)). Happy to finally have solved the puzzle he rushes into a room behind a door and gets ambushed by a lot of monsters.



A Kobold Shaman casts a spell and Hacker II gets a slight headache. There’s a Black Naga Hatchling, a Gnome Zombie, a Leprechaun and a Kobold Lord. Hacker II backs out through the door opening and zaps a magic missile at three of them.



The Kobold Shaman dies. The Kobold Lord throws two daggers, one hitting the Black Naga Hatchling, the other almost hitting Hacker II. Hacker II kills all monsters except the Leprechaun who is closing in to steal Hacker’s gold. He backs out into the corridor and when the Leprechaun follows he zaps it with a magic missile that hits and then bounces and hits one more time. Finally Hacker smites it with the sword killing it. It leaves 85gp.

Dungeon Level 3 Sokoban
A new puzzle. There’s a ring in one of the holes. Hacker II wants it and jumps into the hole.



Air currents pull him down to Dungeon Level 4. There’s a whole bunch of Manes but Hacker II kills them with darts. Hacker II gets hungry often but there’s lots of food rations in the Sokoban. He goes up again and solves the third puzzle. He readies himself for battle before opening a door, but there’s only one Giant Ant in the room. He finds a jewelled wand.

Dungeon Level 2 Sokoban
Hmm, this puzzle is difficult. Hacker II manages to make it unsolvable by pushing the wrong boulders. He undresses everything and manages to squeeze behind the boulders to move them. Three Giant Rats attack the naked and unarmed Hacker II. He manages to reach his sword and kills the Rats. He feels more confident in his skills and chooses to become skilled in two-handed sword fighting.



He drops the sword again and is about to squeeze in behind a boulder when it reaches out and grabs him. It’s a Giant Mimic!



Hacker II reaches for his sword but can’t escape the Mimic’s grip. He begins bashing the monster with his bare hands.



The Mimic is slow but it’s crushing attack do a lot of damage. Hacker II hits the Mimic many times but the Mimic finally crushes Hacker II only one step away from his battle gear.



There are no possessions to identify, as he was naked when he died. He vanquished 82 creatures. He was a greater hero than Hacker the first.



Lessons learned: Never feel safe in the Dungeons of Doom! Maybe remember to pray next time!?!



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